[{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org\/","@type":"BlogPosting","@id":"https:\/\/www.the-future-of-commerce.com\/2021\/12\/22\/difficult-women-workplace-bias\/#BlogPosting","mainEntityOfPage":"https:\/\/www.the-future-of-commerce.com\/2021\/12\/22\/difficult-women-workplace-bias\/","headline":"Difficult women: Exhausted by bias, a revolution rises","name":"Difficult women: Exhausted by bias, a revolution rises","description":"Tired of being written out of their own narrative, difficult women get comfortable holding the reins of power.","datePublished":"2021-12-22","dateModified":"2024-06-25","author":{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.the-future-of-commerce.com\/contributor\/cali-green\/#Person","name":"Cali Green","url":"https:\/\/www.the-future-of-commerce.com\/contributor\/cali-green\/","identifier":434,"image":{"@type":"ImageObject","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/d39cd4c54a96bcfd607951623158535f454a94f5bf4ea9c31bb01130d99f32e2?s=96&d=mm&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/d39cd4c54a96bcfd607951623158535f454a94f5bf4ea9c31bb01130d99f32e2?s=96&d=mm&r=g","height":96,"width":96}},"publisher":{"@type":"Organization","name":"The Future of Commerce","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","@id":"https:\/\/www.the-future-of-commerce.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/01\/logo-foc-schema-app-1.png","url":"https:\/\/www.the-future-of-commerce.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/01\/logo-foc-schema-app-1.png","width":172,"height":60}},"image":{"@type":"ImageObject","@id":"https:\/\/www.the-future-of-commerce.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/difficult-woman_1200x375.jpg","url":"https:\/\/www.the-future-of-commerce.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/difficult-woman_1200x375.jpg","height":375,"width":1200},"url":"https:\/\/www.the-future-of-commerce.com\/2021\/12\/22\/difficult-women-workplace-bias\/","about":[{"@type":"Thing","@id":"https:\/\/www.the-future-of-commerce.com\/purpose\/diversity\/","name":"Diversity and Inclusion","sameAs":["https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Diversity,_equity,_and_inclusion"]},{"@type":"Thing","@id":"https:\/\/www.the-future-of-commerce.com\/customer-experience\/employee-engagement\/","name":"Employee Engagement","sameAs":["https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Employee_engagement","http:\/\/www.wikidata.org\/entity\/Q14937678"]},{"@type":"Thing","@id":"https:\/\/www.the-future-of-commerce.com\/purpose\/gender-equality\/","name":"Gender Equality","sameAs":["https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Gender_equality","http:\/\/www.wikidata.org\/entity\/Q113453"]},"Inclusion & Diversity",{"@type":"Thing","@id":"https:\/\/www.the-future-of-commerce.com\/purpose\/","name":"Purpose","sameAs":["https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Purpose"]}],"wordCount":1046,"keywords":["Bias","Diversity and Inclusion","Gender Equality","Racial Equality"],"articleBody":"Difficult. That word has become not-so-coded language often used to describe a woman \u2014 especially a woman of color \u2014 who is unwilling to be disrespected or to accept less than what she deserves.She is the disruptor, not the worker bee. She is out front innovating, not toeing the line. She is using her voice, not waiting for permission to be heard (then overlooked and underpaid).Words like \u201cbossy\u201d and \u201coverbearing\u201d are hurled at these kinds of women to dismiss and diminish them.Meanwhile, our male counterparts are lauded for their \u201cambition\u201d and \u201cdrive\u201d when they exhibit similar \u201cleadership\u201d behaviors.This content is hosted by a third party ( twitter.com ).To view the content, either update your cookie preferences or view it in a new browser window.Cookie PreferencesNew WindowA tale as old as sexism: ‘Decisive’ men versus ‘bossy’ womenWe\u2019ve established these systemic disparities many times over. A personal favorite: white men are graded based upon their potential. Meanwhile, the rest of us are fully expected to show our work (and often fix the work of that person who had so much potential\u2026).As such, when women stand up for ourselves and denounce that discriminatory status quo, we are very often told, \u201cDon\u2019t rock the boat.\u201dWe’re advised to be more grateful for what someone perceives as being a \u201cgood enough\u201d opportunity for us.Don\u2019t be so difficult.In reality, we’re well aware that any decision to speak up often comes with high risk. Silence will not gain us proper recognition \u2014 and often compensation \u2014 for the energy we put toward bringing something brilliant to life; for all the hours we neglected our own well-being to be a \u201cteam player.\u201dFor all the efforts we gave toward helping people in power appear to be good at their jobs.“Women have historically been seen as pleasing and acceptable as long as we do not step inside the very male domain of power,” said women’s leadership expert Eleanor Beaton in an interview for Bustle.      Women’s Equality Day: No glass ceiling in sight from the edge                It's Women's Equality Day, but it'll be 135.6 years before women and men reach parity on a range of factors, versus the 99.5 years cited in 2020.      Difficult women or systematic bias? (You already know the answer.)There are myriad examples of how true Beaton’s statement is: powerful and successful women being labeled as difficult because they challenge outdated, harmful, and unreasonably limiting ideologies.When Gabrielle Union left America’s Got Talent in 2020, she stated that working there was \u201c the very definition of a toxic work environment,\u201d stating she had experienced and witnessed racist and inappropriate behavior. Very soon after, Union was labeled “difficult” and felt she had been punished for speaking up.This content is hosted by a third party ( player.simplecast.com ).To view the content, either update your cookie preferences or view it in a new browser window.Cookie PreferencesNew WindowIn 2018, Meghan Markle was labeled “Duchess Difficult” by tabloids in part because she refused to fall in line with patriarchal traditions and an often racist set of royal rules. As an actress, Markle\u2019s reputation seemed to be that she was friendly and relatable. However, when she became a vocal, powerful, and influential member of the British royal family, she also became \u201cdifficult.\u201dAfter singer\/actress Aaliyah\u2019s untimely death in 2001, I remember watching an interview wherein a man spoke at length about how \u201ceveryone loved Aaliyah.\u201d (Because it is only the dead girls who are never called difficult, notes author Roxane Gay.)At the time, as an insecure 20-something model, I was battling anxiety and undiagnosed ADHD. There was nothing I wanted more than to be a woman everyone could love. I imagined those kinds of women as far easier and uncomplicated than I knew how to be.      Venture capital funding bias: Why VC business-as-usual must change                The bias in venture capital funding is stark: Companies with Black women at the helm get less than zero percent of VC funding.      Imagine using the term #BoyBoss to describe a man: Women must lead without apologyHowever, in hindsight, I now understand that part of what makes a woman the type of person \u201ceveryone\u201d can love is obedience.\u00a0Silence. Compliance.\u00a0Don\u2019t be too big or too loud or too much.I will never be that woman. I will never again manage to be silent as someone presents my work or ideas as their own \u2014 and then writes me out of my own narrative.So I challenge anyone who reads this, regardless of how you identify: the next time you hear someone call a woman \u201cdifficult\u201d or imply something similar, ask them why.What did she do to warrant being called difficult?Did she ask or demand to be paid what she\u2019s worth?Did she refuse to let someone disrespect her boundaries?Did she speak up to be recognized for something she inspired or built?If anything like the above took place, none of it makes her difficult.It makes her smart.      Hold the door open: To achieve workplace gender equality, women must help women                In order to smash the glass ceiling, we first need to reach it. Fortunately, the entryway to this barrier is in plain sight: To achieve gender equality in the workplace, women must hold the door open for other women.      As much as some would like to pretend that \u201chard work\u201d is what allows people to rise through the ranks of a company or industry, we know the reality \u2014 from data, not anecdotes \u2014 is that women are consistently spoken over and excluded.The true difficulty is often with maintaining enough fortitude to wage battle every single day. Many of us consistently fight against systems designed to knock us down a peg or ten. We regularly confront people who are determined to ensure that a woman \u201cknows her place.\u201d\u00a0As we continue rising up in our respective fields, be warned: our \u201cplace\u201d may just be the very seat you desperately want to keep us from occupying \u2013 and we intend to make that very difficult for you.  Work doesn’t work like it once did.Win, retain, and grow talent in a changing, competitive landscape. Real-life proof points \u2192HERE."},{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org\/","@type":"BreadcrumbList","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"2021","item":"https:\/\/www.the-future-of-commerce.com\/2021\/#breadcrumbitem"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"12","item":"https:\/\/www.the-future-of-commerce.com\/2021\/\/12\/#breadcrumbitem"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":3,"name":"22","item":"https:\/\/www.the-future-of-commerce.com\/2021\/\/12\/\/22\/#breadcrumbitem"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":4,"name":"Difficult women: Exhausted by bias, a revolution rises","item":"https:\/\/www.the-future-of-commerce.com\/2021\/12\/22\/difficult-women-workplace-bias\/#breadcrumbitem"}]}]